Growing up with Muhammad Ali, Chuck Norris, Rocky Movies, and the Karate Kid, I’ve always admired boxers and the martial arts – their strength, agility, resilience, and determination. Something about the way they approached a fight fascinated me so much that I started training in the martial arts when I was 12 years old. I learned quickly that you have to train hard if you want to succeed. I also learned that through my time fighting in kickboxing tournaments that you have to fight fair. I remember one time I had to fight this guy that was twice my size; I don’t remember his name, but I remember the face like there was no tomorrow. He started using what is called a clinch and some dirty boxing along with some low blows which was illegal in the Kickboxing circuit. I got so frustrated with this guy, and because he was a local city boy crowd favorite the referee didn’t do a lot to stop it, and in the end the judges scored in his favor and I lost. Talk about mad. Here I was the whole time fighting fare, and I know I scored just as many points as he did, and he still won.
This is often the case when it comes to conflict, however many times we are the dirty boxers. Conflict is inevitable in relationships; when two unique and imperfect people come together, they simply won’t agree about everything. That’s why it’s critical that we learn how to deal effectively with relationship issues. No one really teaches us how to confront and resolve the impasses that life inevitably brings, especially in relationships. I think there ought to be a law that before you get into a relationship with someone, you have to take a class on resolving conflict. But even in friendship, teams at work/school, extended families, it’s tough to know when to hold your ground and when to throw in the towel. If you only had one month to live, you would want to know how to push through those issues and finally resolve conflicts with the ones you love.
The Bible provides us with principles for fighting fair, and it is the world that often times teaches us these dirty boxing techniques. When we use these dirty boxing techniques “People may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel.” – Carl W. Buechner
Read Ephesians 4:25-32
5 Types of Fighters
- Fight Posers– are far from resolvers, people who look tuff, but say, “There’s no way you’re getting me to fight.” This type of fighter avoids conflict at all cost, however this often times results in fragile peace, undermined relationships, shallow and fear based beliefs. Posers often times never find true intimacy which is developed by working through the tough issues.
- K.O. (Knock Out) Artist – one who’s fighting stance is “It’s my way or the highway.” This is the type of person that thinks they are always right, and that everyone else is always wrong. They tend to throw everything they got at their opponents, and they tend to always land their blows just right. While K.O. Artist usually win, the relationships go down for the count because the other person has no voice and will eventually quit trying.
- Tapout Junkies – these fighters are quick to quit or tapout when they get put into a bad position. This produces a false peace and ultimately creates tremendous bitterness in the person who always gives in and dangerous pride in the one who doesn’t. It’s not a healthy way to fight.
- One-Two Boxer – is committed to a give-and-take resolution. You win half, and I’ll win half. This type of relationship is healthier than the others, because each fight is more willing to stay in the ring because they will at least win half the time. However this is not the best style of fighting for dealing with conflict.
- Sparring Partners – this person is committed to being a teammate and helping their partners succeed. Each partner works together to develop one another’s skills. They work together to combat the opponent of conflict instead of trying to defeat one another. In the end both partners are victorious.
Which style of fighter are you?
How do you think this style developed?
What are some ways you can change your training method to be a better fighter?
Original draft format by Kerry & Chris Shook Boxing Ring
I am a little behind on posting this, but due to the arctic weather here lately I havn’ t had much of an opportunity to do so; so here goes. We had a New Years Eve party at the house for all of our Refuge Students, and we ate pizza, watched Facing the Giants, played some Wii, and discussed New Years Resolutions. The two that were most mentioned were Lose Weight and Get Better Grades. Then I prioritized them based on importance, and came up with the Top 10 Refuge New Years Resolution for 2010.
